Let Go of First Love

Let Go of First Love

Dear Annie: I’ve been seeing this guy, “David,” on and off for almost a year and a half and we have this long-distance relationship going on. This is my very first relationship, but he’s been with a few women in the past. While we can’t see each other as often as we’d like, I intend to fix that this fall semester, since I’ll be transferring to a college that is closer to where he lives. I’m really looking forward to watching football games together and bringing him to college parties with me.

The bottom line is that I’ve grown to really have feelings for him. In fact, I think I love him. But sometimes when we talk, he reminds me that I’m not going to be the only woman in his life. He tells me that he plans to come home one day to children — and two women.

He says he would like to start seeing someone else while still dating me. Although it kind of breaks my heart, I’d still want to be in that relationship with him. I said I’d be there for him no matter what happens because I love him so much. And I said that I’m fine with another woman. But really, I don’t think I am.

There are many great things about David: He does his “boyfriend duties.” He’s there for me when I’m sad, when I need to rant, when I just need to feel loved. We text each other a lot when we’re both not too busy. I know he has work, and he works on recording music after work, which can make life pretty busy. So some days we don’t talk to each other, which I totally understand.

I don’t want to let go of him because he’s become such a big part of my life already.

I want him to be happy and achieve his dream of living with two women, so I wouldn’t mind if another woman is involved. And if it ever got to be too much for me, I could just leave him (and take any children we have with me and be a single mom), right?

I don’t know what I really feel. I want to be with him, but I don’t want to fight for his attention. Am I selfish in a way for wanting my man to myself, to not have to share him with another woman? What should I do? — In Between

Dear In Between: This will never work, no matter how hard you try. You are clearly not OK with the idea of Mark having a second girlfriend (and who would blame you). Break it off, and the sooner the better. You’ll feel lonely for a little while, but not nearly as lonely as you would beside someone who can never love you the way that you need.

I know this is your first relationship, and you can’t imagine yourself with anyone else. But there will be someone else — someone who will think it’s a dream come true to date just you.

Dear Annie: I received my stimulus check in my account two days ago. I feel very blessed. Though I’m not rich by any measure, I am retired, so I have a steady income, my house is paid for and I have no outstanding debt. Yes, I have expenses: I just paid almost $2,000 for car problems. But I am only losing my “cushion” during this economic crash. I’m not afraid of losing my home, struggling to feed my children or paying my bills. I am donating at least a part of my check to Dare to Care Food Bank and have challenged my friends to do the same — to donate to their preferred charities. Will others join in? — Grateful and Want to Share

Dear Grateful: Your generosity is inspiring. This is a wonderful idea for those who can manage it. Thank you for writing.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Trudeau to seek 10 days of paid sick leave for all Canadian workers

Paid sick leave is key to keeping COVID-19 spread under control, prime minister says

City of Red Deer down to one confirmed active case of COVID-19

18 new cases were confirmed across the province Saturday

Facing changes together: Your community, your journalists

The Lacombe Express covers the stories that matter to you and to our community

Celebrating May long with the new normal

Celebrating May long with the new normal

Vermilion Energy CEO leaves company, executive committee to take over role

Vermilion Energy CEO leaves company, executive committee to take over role

Gathering limits make it a ‘great time to be building a pipeline:’ Alberta minister

Gathering limits make it a ‘great time to be building a pipeline:’ Alberta minister

Ontario used auto dealers expect tough year ahead, prices already down

Ontario used auto dealers expect tough year ahead, prices already down

Toronto stock market rally led by cannabis while U.S. stock markets closed

Toronto stock market rally led by cannabis while U.S. stock markets closed

Online games could be source of money laundering, B.C. public inquiry hears

Online games could be source of money laundering, B.C. public inquiry hears

44% fewer passengers flew on Canadian airlines in March 2020 than in 2019

COVID-19 pandemic has hit airlines hard as travel remains low

Wetaskiwin RCMP arrest impaired driver following police car ramming

The suspect vehicle purposefully crashed into a parked police vehicle, pushing it into the ditch.

Most Read