Fighting siblings grow out of it – eventually

Last weekend I went home to Saskatchewan for the wedding of a long-time family friend.

Last weekend I went home to Saskatchewan for the wedding of a long-time family friend.

My girlfriend and I stayed with Thomas, the older of my two younger brothers, who just bought a house with his girlfriend in December. The wedding was a great party, as weddings usually are, and I enjoyed visiting with my old friends.

What was most interesting about the weekend was the time spent with my family and in particular, the time I spent with my brothers.

I had a nice visit with my brothers and (as is becoming more usual each time I visit my family), I found it difficult to leave at the end of the weekend. This is interesting to me, as 10 years ago I would have done just about anything to get away from my family most weekends, especially from my brothers who I often found annoying and immature.

Now that we have all ‘grown up’ (Thomas is 21 and James just turned 19 on Monday) the relationship between my brothers and me has changed dramatically. When we were kids the three of us did the same things all brothers do while growing up. By that I mean we fought. A lot.

All siblings – brothers in particular – fight with each other as they grow up and for the most part they all grow out of it.

However, I don’t think that knowledge gives much comfort to parents with children who are constantly at their siblings’ throats. For example, even if they didn’t really think it would happen, I know my parents were terrified my brothers and I would grow up to become adult siblings who never spoke to each other unless family gatherings demanded it.

Fortunately, that hasn’t happened thanks to a little thing called maturity. Maturity is a trait that develops with age and exists solely to prevent brothers from tearing each other apart.

In all seriousness, events like this past weekend and other family gatherings have demonstrated to me that while my brothers and I may not have completely outgrown occasional name-calling, we have reached a level of maturity that even our parents would be proud of. The first such event happened about two and a half years ago when Thomas was still going to school in Lethbridge.

Thomas invited James and I to spend a weekend at his place and do some hiking in Waterton Park. I didn’t realize it until afterwards but it was the first time all three of us had been together for any real length of time without Mom and Dad. It was also the first time any of us had been together without Mom and Dad since we ‘grew up.’

What I found interesting about the weekend was not that we still fought and argued (sadly, that much is still to be expected) but that it never got out of hand.

It was like the way we argued had changed and gotten more mature along with our relationships. Perhaps the most clear illustration of this was when we went on the Bear Hump Hike in Waterton.

I’m sure my brothers would agree that as children, there was no way the three of us would have made it to the top of a mountain and back without a fatality or at the very least, an injury to one of us. To clarify, I don’t mean hiking is dangerous. I mean we would have killed each other.

Thanks to maturity, that didn’t happen. Even though Thomas shoved James down the mountain and tripped me (I did a swan dive into a snow bank) not a single fight broke out on that mountainside.

Instead, we laughed about it.

The same thing happened again this weekend. No argument got to the point where a punch was thrown and while we may have aggravated each other, it never stopped us from having fun.

So don’t worry if your kids act like they hate each other now, chances are they will enjoy a long-lasting and positive relationship as adults. In the meantime, keep them away from any mountains.

Just Posted

The City of Red Deer sits at 249 active cases of the virus, after hitting a peak of 565 active cases on Feb. 22. (Black Press file image)
Red Deer down to 119 active COVID-19 cases

Province identifies 179 new cases Saturday

Member Terry Parsons’ custom built track vehicle.
Forestburg’s Area 53 Racetrack gears up for action-packed season

Site will also host a portion of the ‘Miles of Mayhem’ event in July

Alberta’s chief medical officer of health Dr. Deena Hinshaw reported five additional deaths Wednesday due to COVID-19. (File photo by Chris Schwarz/Government of Alberta)
Red Deer at 169 active cases of COVID-19

Province set to move into Stage 2 of reopening Thursday

At an outdoor drive-in convocation ceremony, Mount Royal University bestows an honorary Doctor of Laws on Blackfoot Elder and residential school survivor Clarence Wolfleg in Calgary on Tuesday, June 8, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jeff McIntosh
‘You didn’t get the best of me’: Residential school survivor gets honorary doctorate

Clarence Wolfleg receives honorary doctorate from Mount Royal University, the highest honour the school gives out

Flowers and cards are left at a makeshift memorial at a monument outside the former Kamloops Indian Residential School to honour the 215 children whose remains are believed to have been discovered buried near the city in Kamloops, B.C., on Monday, May 31, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
‘Pick a Sunday:’ Indigenous leaders ask Catholics to stay home, push for apology

Indigenous leaders are calling on Catholics to stand in solidarity with residential school survivors by not attending church services

“They will never be forgotten, every child matters,” says Sioux Valley Chief Jennifer Bone in a video statement June 1. (Screen grab)
104 ‘potential graves’ detected at site of former residential school in Manitoba

Sioux Valley Dakota Nation working to identify, repatriate students buried near former Brandon residential school

Denmark’s Christian Eriksen receives medical attention after collapsing during the Euro 2020 soccer championship group B match between Denmark and Finland at Parken stadium in Copenhagen, Saturday, June 12, 2021. (AP Photo/Martin Meissner, Pool)
Christian Eriksen in stable condition, Euro 2020 match resumes

Eriksen was given chest compressions after collapsing on the field during a European Championship

As stories of the horrors of residential schools circulate after the Tk’emlups te Secwepemc First Nation announced it had located what are believed to be the remains of 215 children, Grand Chief Stewart Phillip of the Union of B.C. Indian Chiefs said he feels a connection with the former students. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
2 sides of the same coin: Ex-foster kids identify with residential school survivors

Grand Chief Stewart Phillip says the child welfare system takes Indigenous children from their families

Airport ground crew offload a plane carrying just under 300,000 doses of the single-shot Johnson & Johnson COVID-19 vaccine which is developed by the Janssen Pharmaceutical Companies at Pearson International Airport during the COVID-19 pandemic in Toronto on Wednesday, April 28, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Nathan Denette
1st batch of Johnson & Johnson vaccines won’t be released in Canada over quality concerns

The vaccines were quarantined in April before they were distributed to provinces

Grade 12 students at Wetaskiwin Composite High School took place in the annual water fight off school property on June 11, 2021. Shaela Dansereau/ Pipestone Flyer.
Graduating students in Wetaskiwin throw water fight after being told it could result in suspension

Students were told their participation could result in them being barred from graduation ceremonies.

The arrest south of Winnipeg occurred before Bernier was to arrive at a protest in the city. (Twitter/Maxime Bernier)
Maxime Bernier arrested following anti-rules rallies in Manitoba: RCMP

He’s been charged with exceeding public gathering limits and violating Manitoba’s requirement to self-isolate

Most Read